


Sleepless in Water 7

by Wordsdear



Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-14 22:58:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13017960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordsdear/pseuds/Wordsdear
Summary: Usopp's night alone on the Merry after the Usopp/Luffy fight. Based on the head canon that Usopp has sleep issues and cuddling with Luffy helps him sleep





	Sleepless in Water 7

**Author's Note:**

> Cause novicecomcis wanted a drabble about Lusopp and unfortunately all I can write is angst

Usopp lay in his bunk and glared at the ceiling. It was covered in cracks, and some spit and boogers for good measure. Usually he couldn’t see it for the hammock that was supposed to hanging overhead but it was gone, along with everything, and everyone else. The ceiling mocked him as yet another thing he had to fix, by himself. That could wait till morning though, he needed to sleep and get well rested if he wanted to finish the repairs on the Merry and sail off. It would be tricky sailing her by himself, he tried not to think too hard about the fact that he didn’t have a log pose or an eternal pose for that matter. Or the money to buy one. He was so fucking stupid. He took a breath and tried to think of something else, anything else.

Who needs to count sheep when you can count the aches and pains. Let’s play what is broken, fractured or just bruised? Does the nose count as one bone or two? Was his amazingly long nose three bones worth? It felt like all six of his ribs were broken. Luffy sure had gotten a good hit in.

Luffy.

He tried tracing the cracks in the ceiling with his eyes, maybe counting them would help him sleep, but he kept losing count trying to follow the little seams in the wood. Most of them leading back to the nails embedded in the ceiling. He closed his eyes and tried to will the hammock above him back into existence. That the hand would be hanging down like always, and he could reach out and grab it and squeeze for dear life. A reminder that this was real and the night terrors weren’t. Luffy, the living breathing stinky sticky stress ball. Who'd squeeze back just as hard, pulling on Usopp’s arm and dragging him up into the his hammock. Usopp could just lay there sprawled out on top of him, listening to his steady heartbeat. The loud thudding that reassured that Luffy was a giggling snot covered furnace and no nightmare dared stand before him. It meant everything was going to be fine. Luffy was here. ‘Till he wasn’t.

He wished they had left the hammock. If he looked up at an empty hammock he could imagine that Luffy was off taking a piss, or attempting a late night kitchen raid. He usually got dragged into those as well though. Their top secret plan had been to try tieing Sanji to his hammock, but hadn’t been able to sneak any rope and they were going to buy some once they got the money. The money. Yet another thought that was no longer safe. Everything just made it bubble up again. How could he be so stupid. First the money, then the ship, and then the fight. It all just kept building up and Usopp couldn’t decide if he should wallow in self pity or punch the walls ’till he didn’t feel that pit of anger. He was so tired. He would give anything to close his eyes and drift off for just a second. When Luffy’s heartbeat couldn’t get him to sleep, he would whisper stories into Luffy’s ear about the brave adventures of the great captain Usopp, or of the Pirate King and the many meats that he would eat. Telling the stories to an empty room didn’t feel right. Maybe it was just that the story of the silly weak pirate, who couldn’t even fix one little boat, wasn’t much of a crowd pleaser. 

 

Luffy was going to become pirate king, it was a fact of the universe. Like saying the sun would rise in the east in the morning. It was silly to think you could help the sun rise, that you could be a part of it. Even as he thought it, he knew it was a lie. A coward's way out. The rest of the crew weren’t idiots for thinking they could help Luffy. Luffy wasn’t a sun. He was human, and he could lose. Aokiji had proved that. A frozen statue with a faint, faint heartbeat. So of course Luffy needed help, he’d said it himself when he fought Arlong, that he couldn’t use a sword, or cook or navigate or lie. As if lying could help someone become pirate king. Luffy did need help, just not his help. None of the crew had it in them to tell him to leave, that he was holding them back. He had a dream once that Nami started charging him rent, that he wasn’t earning his keep. At least now it was over. He didn’t have to worry that he wasn’t good enough. It was fact now, written in stone. In the bandages wrapped around his arms and legs. In the impact dial that lay on the floor of the cabin. He was weak and it was time to go home. Where was home anymore? He was home, he was still on the Merry, he hadn’t gone anywhere. Everyone else had left. He’d heard talk of home being a person, but what do you do when your home punches you in the face and leaves. When your home is falling apart at the seams and no matter what you do it just isn’t good enough. Maybe he didn’t deserve a home. No, he was a pirate. Pirates didn’t need homes, they chased adventure and laughed at the idea of staying in one place. Except pirates had crews and ships they treasured, more than their families they left behind. At least they were supposed to, Luffy must of missed the pirate memo when he let both his ship and crewmate go in one night. 

Kaya had read in her some of her books about how thinking about the worst case scenarios could make you feel better, that you could laugh about how these absurd scenarios could never really happen. So he had spent some nights, imagining in his head over and over again the crew vanishing one by one, as Luffy screamed. It hadn’t helped. Now here he was, in the worst case scenario. He was alone. Not really the worst. It wasn’t as if everyone was dead, they were out there somewhere on this island, hating him. So great. What a plus. 

 

Maybe if he ate something he would feel better, he dragged himself out of bed and made towards the kitchen. He walked along the deck with care avoiding the especially creaky bits, he didn’t want to risk waking- Sanji was gone. They all were. What was he doing? As he opened the kitchen door he braced himself for the worst. He had seen Sani carrying out a few baskets, so there was probably not any food to snack on. What if Sanji had taken the whole fridge? Or tampered with the stove to make it explode in his face? If he had seen someone do to Luffy what he had done, he probably would try to kill them too. Even he could tell he was being too paranoid. But he had seen Sanji stop Chopper from treating him, he hadn’t heard what was said but he didn’t need to. Sanji hated him now. They all did. Chopper had just dropped some bandages and left. Might as well look in the kitchen and get it over with. He took a deep breath and tried to straighten out his thoughts, to calm the growing panic that was starting to bubble over. Sanji was a cook, he wouldn’t let him starve to death, crewmate or no crewmate, right? He opened the door. The fridge and stove were still there, which was a relief. The spice rack didn’t look as full as it used to when he had helped with dishes, but there was still salt and pepper. He opened the freezer and there were a few packages of fish and some premade fries. He felt sick to his stomach. It was if it was saying ‘here you go you dumbass, you can’t even take care of yourself’. He might just burn the fish on purpose to prove he didn’t need their handouts. Inside the fridge was mushrooms and some other packages. He closed the fridge, putting his weight behind it, and walked out. It would have been better if it was empty, but at least he had the mushrooms to complain about. 

He walked out of the kitchen and onto the deck, he lay down and looked up at the stars. The stars on the grandline looked different than the ones back home, Nami had tried explaining it to him once about how they weren’t reliable for navigation but Luffy had yelled mystery stars and that was that. He shook his head. He needed to stop thinking about him, about all of them. It was over. 

“What have I done Merry?” he whispered, letting it hang in the air. In the gloom he caught a glimpse of a flash of light and all that wallowing self pity was burnt away by self righteous anger. Sanji was here. What the hell did he want? Was he going to come and try to cook for him? Kick his ass for even thinking about burning the fish? Or no, he was waiting for Robin. ‘Sorry Robin, Usopp lost his mind, do not approach’. Maybe Robin will see his side and he could have one more person to help him sail this ship, to wherever he might want to go. Except he could just picture her knowing smile as she shook her head and walked away. ‘So long, long nose’. Who needed her, or any of them. They sure as hell didn’t need him. They never did. He could magically find his way back to Alabasta, and Vivi could help him. He would just have to avoid explaining why just he was back. He could say everyone was dead, that would work. Why were all his plans worse than the next? He just wanted to have a good cry and sleep. The empty deck and the night air laughed at him. Standing up with a jolt, Usopp sprinted towards his abandoned repairs on the cabin.The planks and nails were waiting for him. A few quick repairs would calm him down. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking though and it was hard to work in the dark with no one to hold the lantern. How could they all leave him like that? The same thoughts looping in his head over and over again. It was their fault one second, and next the voice in his head screamed it was his.

Throwing down the hammer he opened the bedroom door and threw himself into the one lonely hammock. One night they had loosened all the hammock strings in the boys room and laughed themselves silly as everyone plunged to the ground. It had still been pretty funny when the rest of the boys chased them up the mast. Just him and Luffy against the world. That laughing face, god he missed it so much. Only that mental image of Luffy, the gigantic smile, kept getting shoved out of the way no matter how much he alternated between trying to cling to it or forget it. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the same thing, Luffy’s face as he threw that last punch. The disappointment in his eyes and then the anger. Luffy was moving forward, even if it meant he had to leave everything else behind. He hoped it was worth it, he really did. The rest of the crew could follow along and see how long it took before Luffy cast them aside too. The damn persistent voice in his head piped up that Luffy would never leave a crew member. Turns out his inner voice was a good liar too. His former crew mates were strong. They would be fine. Only time would tell if he would be though.


End file.
